Lazarillo's Mokeskin Bag
by Lazarillo
Summary: A collection of story ideas and snippets. HP and HP/Crossovers. Now with 100% Fewer Typos*
1. A Confessor in a Strange Land

**Notes**

This is a crossover idea with Legend of the Seeker, though it only involves a single character from that franchise. I'm not sure where this would go from here. If there is a pairing at all, it might be Kahlan/Sirius or Kahlan/Bill Weasley.

In this crossover, sufficiently developed occulmancy shields protect against confession. They do not prevent a confessor from determining if a person is lying.

 **Prologue**

Kahlan stumbled through the heavy mist, mere inches from the deadly pulsing walls of the Barrier. If not for the guidance of her fairy friend, she would have succumbed to death's lure hours ago. The myriad of voices and images of loved ones past called to her incessantly.

Up ahead the passage narrowed and turned sharply to the left. She twisted to the side to make the turn when her footing gave way. With a yell, she lurched forward into the vale.

 **Chapter 1**

Kahlan awoke to a pounding headache. She tried to bring her hand to her head only to find it restrained.

She stiffened at the sound of someone clearing their throat. "It's good to see you finally awake, my dear. I apologize for the restraints, but until we get to know you better, we can't take any chances," the grandfatherly voice began.

Kahlan opened her eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the light of a small stone walled room. In a large wooden chair about three feet from her bed sat a strangely dressed man. A large red bird sat on a perch next to him.

He wore a tall, pointed hat made of a deep purple fabric. His robe was of the same fabric, but with green trim. Animated dogs and cats frolicked across the fabric.

He smiled at her appraisal from behind his long, bushy beard. "My name is Albus Dumbledor. May I have your name?" he began.

"My name is Kahlan Amnell, the Mother Confessor." The words slipped out effortlessly and without thought. 'I should be more concerned about this, Why don't I seem to care' she thought to herself.

Before she could reflect further, Albus asked another question. "Do you support the one who calls himself Lord Voldemort?"

"I Don't know who that is." she responded.

Albus continued "What were you doing in the Ministry of Magic?"

"I Don't know what that is."

"What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?"

"I lost my footing and fell into the Barrier."

"What barrier, dear one?"

"The manifestation of the underworld that separates the Midlands from the Westlands."

Albus paused at this revelation. The young woman before him had tumbled from the Vale of Death the night before. Sirius Black tripped over her prone form, narrowly avoiding a deadly spell from his cousin. At the conclusion of that night, Albus secreted the mysterious woman away to a private room in the Hogwarts infirmary.

He struggled with the implications of her answers. The veritaserum ensured that she spoke what she believed to be the truth. 'A world beyond the Vale...' he thought to himself. Memories of long dead family and friends played behind his eyes.

A rustle of cloth brought him back to the present. The woman shifted beneath the sheets, looking lazily around the room. 'Poppy's calming droughts are as effective as ever' Albus thought with a smile.

"Earler, you mentioned a title after your name. Mother Confessor, I believe you said," Albus asked. The young woman turned back and regarded him calmly. "what does that title mean?"

'How do you not know?' she wanted to say, but she felt compelled to speak the definition. "I am the leader of the Confessors."

"And what do these confessors do?"

"The confessors were the final arbiters of law and justice among the peoples and kingdoms of the Midlands."

"What do you mean 'were'?" he asked with concern.

Even under the effects of the potions, Kahlan's voice hitched, "The Midlands are under attack from D'hara. They slaughtered my sister confessors. I am the only one left." The red bird beside the man trilled sympathetically.

Albus could see that the truth serum would wear off soon. "If I release you from your restraints, will you harm yourself or others?" he asked.

"I won't harm anyone without reason" she replied.

"For what reasons would you harm someone."

"I would do so in defense of the Midlands, myself, or another person."

Albus pondered her responses. "I am releasing the restraints." With a flick of his hand, they fell away. "I recommend that you stay in bed for a few more hours. Your body and magic were quite exhausted when we found you. Poppy, our nurse, will be along in a moment with some dinner."

Kahlan eased herself up to a sitting position. Albus continued, "In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that you are currently under the effects of two potions. The first, which should be wearing off now, is a truth serum. I am sure you can understand the reason for it's use."

She nodded, still feeling less upset than she thought she should. "The other, which should gradually wear off over the next hour, is a calming drought. We had now way of knowing your state of mind, and it is a common treatment for those who have experienced trauma."

Even in her drugged state, she could feel that he spoke the truth. Her sense of self and purpose was returning. Finally, she felt she could get some answers. "Where are we?" she asked.

"We are in a private room in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the finest school of magic in the world, if I do say so myself. I may be biased; I am the headmaster after all." Albus said with a chuckle.

"You're a wizard, then. Do you know the wizard Zeddicus? He is the reason I was trying to cross the barrier." she asked hopefully.

"I am afraid that he and everyone else you know are literally a world away," Albus replied with sadness, "for you crossed from your world and into ours when you entered that barrier. I do not know if there is a way safely back to your own world. The passageway is no longer open on our side. But, you are welcome here for as long as you need to stay."

"Can you take me back to the place I arrived? There has to be some way back.


	2. Snippets Collection 1

**Snippet 1**

I am so very sorry for bringing this idea to life. I am sure it isn't original, though I haven't seen it before.

 **Mrs. Norris, Trapped Animagus**

Harry was out wandering the darkened halls of Hogwarts after curfew. He stilled beneath his invisibility cloak as Mrs. Norris crept by. Fortunately for Harry, Mr Filch's cat didn't seem to notice his presence. Staring at her retreating form, he began to wonder over her strange relationship with Mr. Filch.

'...almost like she was a real human...' he thought. 'maybe she is another animagus like Wormtail. That would explain how she seems to understand Mr. Filch.'

Harry thought back to his encounter with Wormtail, remembering how Remus and Sirius forced the rat's transformation back into a human.

'well, here goes nothing' he thought, pointing his wand at the cat.

He shouted the animagus reversal spell, directing his magic into the feline.

Slowly, much to Harry's surprise, Mrs. Norris stretched and grew. He gazed in fascinated horror as she transformed into a rather frumpy-looking middle-aged witch in a tattered grey dress. Harry was too distracted to notice his invisibility cloak slipping from his shoulders.

With a shocked expression, she touched her face, then looked at her hands and down at her body. She let a loud "Whoop!" and began jumping around excitedly.

She stopped suddenly, remembering that she wasn't alone. Before Harry could react, she rushed over and gave him a huge hug. "Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you! she exclaimed over and over again."

Harry was still too shocked to respond.

"Ah-Ha! I've caught you miscreants now!" cried Filch triumphantly as he rounded the corner. He froze mid-step, his mouth open wide. The lady let out a shrill "Sqeeeeee!" as she spun around.

Harry only now noticed the state of his cloak. With practiced ease, he threw it securely over his body and raced back to the Griffindor dorm. He was eager to put the sounds of their amorous reunion far behind him.

 **Snippet 2**

This snippet features a gender-flipped Prince William.

 **A Royal Engagement** **, Version 1**

A few days after the Triwizard selection disaster, Harry and Hermione wandered down by the shore of the Black Lake.

They had just sat down by a large tree when a post owl landed directly in front of Harry. Hermione let out a gasp "Harry! That's the heraldry of the royal family" she said, excitedly pointing to the crest on the owl's harness.

The owl ignored her and raised it's leg expectantly at Harry. He quickly removed the letter. After fishing around in his bag, he gave the bird an owl treat, which it ate appreciatively before flying away. Hermione gazed after it's retreating form in a daze.

Harry examined the letter. A large red wax seal dominated the back of the envelope. On the front, a fine script spelled out the name 'Harry James Potter'.

Hermione soon recovered and began to ramble. "Is that a letter from the Queen? How did she send owl post? Does she have a wizard on staff? Of course she would know of our world. We are her subjects after all. Oh! Harry! What does it say!" She peered over his shoulder, nearly quivering with excitement.

"If you give me a moment, I'll open it." he said with an amused smile. With a little effort, he slid his finger under the flap and broke the seal.

 _Dear Harry,_

 _I write this letter in haste, so I must dispense with formality. I hope that you don't mind my informal tone or that I have initiated contact early. Even if you disapprove, I hope that you will keep this correspondence in confidence_.

 _Should you be amenable, I have enclosed an enchanted parchment that will allow instant, secure communication. Simply write me a note and I shall receive it._ _I look forward to your reply._

 _Your betrothed and future bride,_

 _Princess Alice, Duchess of Cambridge_

 **Snippet 3**

This version moves the story to the beginning of 5th year. In both versions, Alice is the first witch born into the royal line since the Statute of Secrecy. Due to an old contract with the house of Peverel, the first magical daughter of the reigning monarch of England is betrothed to the Peverel heir.

I don't usually find betrothal/marriage contract stories believable, but I might give it a try anyway.

 **A Royal Engagement, Version 2**

Harry lay dozing fitfully in his room in the early morning of July 5th. He had just returned to his relatives' house a few days ago. Visions of Cedric's death and Voldemort's return plagued his dreams.

A rustle of feathers brought him to full awareness. A brown post owl wearing a fancy harness landed at the foot of the bed and raised it's leg. Harry tried to identify the coat of arms on the harness. It looked familiar, but he just couldn't place it.

"Hoot!" the owl called impatiently. "Alright, I'm getting it, I just woke up, you know." Harry grumbled. The owl just stared at him imperiously as he retrieved the letter.

The post owl immediately flew away. 'guess whoever sent this isn't in a hurry for a reply' he thought.

Harry turned his attention to the letter. A large red wax seal dominated the back of the envelope. On the front, a fine script spelled out the name 'Harry James Potter'.

With a little effort, he slid his finger under the flap and broke the seal.

 _Dear Harry,_

 _I write this letter in haste, so I must dispense with formality. I hope that you don't mind my informal tone or that I have initiated contact early. Even if you disapprove, I hope that you will keep this correspondence in confidence._

 _Should you be amenable, I have enclosed an enchanted parchment that will allow instant, secure communication. Simply write me a note and I shall receive it. I look forward to your reply._

 _Your betrothed and future bride,_

 _Princess Alice, Duchess of Cambridge_

Harry


End file.
